


What if this is all the love you ever get?

by Sosayweall777



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-10 08:49:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17422724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sosayweall777/pseuds/Sosayweall777
Summary: Short one shot about a way Serena could have told Bernie she loves her.





	What if this is all the love you ever get?

**Author's Note:**

> Anywho this is short and maybe pretty imperfect but I wanted to post something fluffy.

“What if it hurts like hell? Then it will hurt like hell”

The singer crooned softly on the radio as Serena brushed mascara on her eyes. 

What if this was all the love she ever got? 

Would she be so scared to run into the unknown? She knows she loves Bernie. Ever since that first kiss she has known she loved her. It was like a cataclysmic shifting of her worldview and suddenly those touches that lit her heart on fire and those lingering looks made sense. She is quite familiar with the feeling of love. But this was much more. 

Serena Campbell was something she wasn’t sure if she ever had felt before-terrified and so so in love. Love she had been in. But this in love? This terrified of getting everything she wanted and having it fall through? Never. What if Bernie didn’t love her back? They had been dating for a few months, yes. But what if this was all just a bit of romance for Bernie? What if this was a placeholder relationship for Bernie? A way for her to pass time? 

She was catastrophizing she knew. She was working on it in therapy. Beth had said it was a habit of hers and now she had been trying to work on it with intention. But a small part of her still wondered if it were partially true. That maybe she was catastrophizing something with a grain of truth in it. 

Suddenly, a loud buzz interrupted her musings and she realizes Bernie must be at the door. 

“Come in!” She calls out and wipes her sweaty palms on her trousers. When had they gotten so sweaty? 

She hears Bernie walking up the stairs and suddenly she’s so nervous. Now that she’s thought about telling her, she has no earthly idea how she will keep it to herself when she sees her. It feels like it’s burning her tongue, the weight of this truth. 

“Hello there” Bernie says with a smile as she walks across the room and kisses Serena’s cheek. 

“Hello” Serena says with a strained smile. Bernie’s hair is falling in soft waves and her nose is bit from the fall wind and she looks so beautiful. Serena wants to just kiss her and forget anything that might ruin this. Because she would rather live in a world with half of Bernie than none of her at all. 

Bernie gives her a quizzical look but then smiles again. 

“Are you ready for the day?” She asks as she reaches out and rubs her thumb against Serena’s cheek “I picked up some coffee for both of us. I left it downstairs” Bernie says gesturing towards the landing. 

“Right. Thank you.” Serena says, looking everywhere but Bernie. Suddenly the small stain on the carpet from maroon nail polish was terribly interesting. She really should figure out how to get that out. Jason surely would know how. 

“Serena is there something wrong? I know you don’t really consider yourself outdoorsy so if you don’t want to go on this hike, then we don’t have to go. I just want to spend the day with you. No matter what we are doing”  
Bernie starts, reassuring Serena. 

Serena’s heart surges again. Her sweet Bernie. Who has been looking forward to this but would gladly let it go for her. 

“No, no nothings wrong” 

Bernie frowns, seems to know Serena isn’t being truthful. 

“Is it something I’ve done? Are you cross with me?” Bernie asks, fearfully.

“No, no. Bernie, well the thing is, okay so” Serena says running a hand through her short brown hair. 

“Serena what is it? Are you okay? Are you sick?” 

Serena looks at the ceiling for a moment, kicking herself.

“Yes, yes I’m fine. See the thing is, well, the thing is, I- I love you” she finishes lamely and feels Bernie’s grip on her instantly slacken. 

Fear grips her until she feels Bernie lifting her chin to look at her. Her eyes are filled with emotion. 

“Oh Serena. Hey. I am so so in love with you. In fact, i was planning on telling you today on the hike. I had this whole plan. There would be a view and the sunset and-and none of that matters now. Because I love you. I love you” 

Serena’s heart felt like it was going to burst. So maybe this wasn’t perfect. Maybe she will stumble over herself like she had with her declaration. There would be fights and maybe more. But this love? It was pretty wonderful and if it was all the love she ever got, far more than enough.


End file.
